Redefining a Relationship

It is very interesting how we assign meaning to things in our lives.  Sometimes people or things become meaningful because they are attached to a significant memory, or sometimes we receive an emotional boost from what we assign meaning to.  Things become important simply because they make us feel a certain way, or they help cover unpleasant memories and feelings.

The more I work with individuals for training purposes, the more I notice how food has become a very important part of their lives because of what it represents.  I very often hear phrases that begin like this, "I just have to have..." or "I just can't give up..." or "I'm just a stress-eater."  When it really gets down to it, food is too often meeting an emotional need that should be met in a different way.

In my own journey of becoming more healthy, I didn't realize I had a similar "relationship" with food.  As I tried to cut things out of my diet that were unhealthy and replace them with healthy, whole-food, nutrition, I realized I was getting really cranky.  Then I felt a little ashamed of myself because I realized I was angry with having to give up certain foods because they made me feel happy to eat them.  Even more than this, I realized that I would spend large amounts of my day looking forward to eating certain foods, and thinking alot about...well...EATING!!

YIKES!!!!

I realized I needed to change something in the way I viewed food because I was letting food define and dictate how I would feel on any particular day.  Have any of you ever experienced this??  I began to shift my focus from being excited about the meal itself, to looking forward to whom I'd get to share the meal.  This was a huge first step, and it made a difference by changing my focus from food to fellowship.  

My next step was to change what I thought about food; instead of seeing it as a luxury, I began to think of it as fuel for my day.  As silly as this sounds, it helped.  It allowed me to discern if I was truly hungry, or whether I was simply craving something because my mind told me I needed it.  After awhile, I craved unhealthy things less and less, and I saw food as something that helped me to function each day which put things in very black-and-white terms.  Having a candy bar and a diet coke was not going to help me function optimally during the day, but having a banana, almonds, and water would.

For a long time, food represented things that were "fun."  For many people I train, food represents something also, even if it is different than what it represented for me.  For some it is used to help them feel better when they are hurt by others, or to make them feel less "empty" and lonely, or deal with their anger towards someone.  

Does food represent something to you?  

Do you have a relationship with it?

Food will never fill a void, and it will never make us feel better or truly happy.  Relationships are very difficult to have with things that have no way to relate back to us.  The more important thing is to deal with the underlying issues that make us think we can have a "relationship" with food.  We were meant to have relationships with people, and also a God who loves us; food will never replace that.  It is time to redefine what we think about food and not let it have the freedom to become part of our identity.  Put food in its proper perspective!!